I wanted to say a few things about my last post, “On Dragons.”
First, a few questions.
- Did you get the sense that the historian had some special status? Or did he maybe just seem pompous or nuts?
- Did the style of the letter turn you off? Was it annoying to slog through the salutation and genealogy?
- Did the abrupt beginning and ending work? If I were to expand this into a short story, I’d obviously want to add more detail. But as a mere snippet—a vignette, I guess you’d call it—did the abruptness work? Would it perhaps have added to the drama or suspense if I had described in a little more detail the process of lighting the tent on fire, so the reader comes to a slower realization of what Muomno is doing? What if I had actually shown Muomno entering the tent and killing the historian?
Comments requested and welcome.
Also, I just made a few minor edits. In the sentence talking about the historian’s calligraphy, I removed the phrase “of the type employed” because it seemed excessively wordy. In the part of the letter giving Kumet’s ancestry, I changed “then” to “and” since the three names aren’t a list of three generations; they’re a list of the man’s father and two grandfathers, then his mother and two grandmothers. Did you notice anything else that could be improved?